This is my Aunt Joyce who just recently passed away. She endured a LONG battle with scleroderma and fought with grace. It was so hard to watch her body wither away from this terrible disease. I know her body is free now and she is in a better place with no pain. She is the only relative close to me with an autoimmune disease. I felt a connection with her and I honor her today.
Of course this leaves me pondering on my own fate. Will I live to be 62? How many grandbabies will I be leaving prematurely? Will I be able to hold my grandbabies and be a part of their lives? Such questions and inquiries can leave you down and discouraged and I try to avoid them when possible. My visit to my rheumy today, along with a nice steroid shot in the knuckle, surfaced these questions and emotions in me. I come to my blog today trying to convince myself to focus on today and the beautiful things around me. I know this diagnosis is not the end and I can still enjoy life...right?
I am a religious person but initially didn't want to bring religion into this blog. However, I have been so uplifted by the scriptures and uplifting messages posted on others blogs. I find so much strength from you women who are choosing to stay positive and fight this fight. I don't know how anyone copes with something like RA without a bigger picture and higher power in mind. I recently heard an address on pain by Kent F. Richards who is a physician. He says "None of us is immune from experiencing pain. I have seen people cope with it very differently. Some turn away from God in anger, and others allow their suffering to bring them closer to God. As Elder Dallin H. Oaks has taught: “Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves us best. Sometimes a ‘healing’ cures our illness or lifts our burden. But sometimes we are ‘healed’ by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us.” All that will come may be “clasped in the arms of Jesus.” All souls can be healed by His power. All pain can be soothed. In Him, we can “find rest unto [our] souls.” Our mortal circumstances may not immediately change, but our pain, worry, suffering, and fear can be swallowed up in His peace and healing balm."
In honoring my Aunt Joyce today I also want to honor each of you enduring RA, scleroderma, lupus, fibromyalgia, etc. Keep fighting! Keep living!